Just a minute of my time...

Happy Birthday to

Me....

 

 

Longaberger trip

On Thursday my mom, sister and I went down to Longaberger for the day.  It's located in frazeysburg Ohio, so it was a couple hour trip.  My sister wanted to do it for my birthday.  We had a perfect day with lots of talking and laughter driving down and a great lunch at the Homestead, as well as some fun shopping!

However, it was quite scary how quiet it was there.  There were very few people shopping.  In the past the place was always so busy you could barely get a picture without someone in your way!  

 

A lot of things have changed.  They used to have a lot of rooms with ideas, now there was just one area that used to be filled with merchandise.

It was a great day and we plan to get back down there again soon!     

 

Right now...

Favorites at the edge of 45...

As I approach 46 I thought I'd reflect on some of my favorite things at 45

  

• Favorite perfume - Fancy by Jessica Simpson
• Favorite fruit - oranges
• Favorite drink - Jamaican me happy wine coolers or water
• Favorite good for you lunch - low carb, whole grain wrap with peanut butter, yogurt and granola
• Favorite dress up shoes - black gladiator shoes - so comfy
• Favorite everyday shoes - Nike running shoes
• Favorite activity - duhhhh... running!
• Favorite down time activity - reading or scrapbooking
• Favorite new purchase - washer and dryer and new bra at Victoria's secret...lol
• Favorite song - Burn it to the ground by Nickleback - great running song!
• Favorite movie - Toy Story 3
• Favorite book so far this year - The Help
• Favorite TV show - Parenthood
• Favorite place to shop - Target
• Favorite ice cream flavor - vanilla
• Favorite jewelry - Slipada
• Favorite gadget -  Canon 40D
• Favorite computer - used to be PC now definitely MAC
• Favorite running site - Daily Mile

The party

This past weekend was my nephew Shawn's graduation party and what a perfect day it turned out to be.  With the threat of rain taunting us all week long, we knew we just had to make the best of it whatever the weather was.

Warning... picture overload ahead!!!

Debbie had the garage decorated so nicely with all his awards, pictures and scrapbooks

 

 
Val helped me, err uhm made the fruit basket for me!

there was cornhole, horse shoes, volleyball and lots of activities

it was hilarious to watch the young vs old volleyball game

   

  loved this picture of my aunt, cousin, and mom and sister!

 
 
I was so impressed with Shawn and all his friends!

  

 

Looking back

on the memory of the dance we shared....

Found some more old pictures.  Love how they can bring back fond memories of those days gone by.

 

 Father's Day many years ago!  I noticed my parents were just building their deck, you can see the wood in the background!  Pictured  Uncle Gordon, Chelsea, Dad, Shawn and Joel and Ryan.  (nobody liked my dad with that beard)

Now the deck is built... 

Zach, Joel, me, Joe (with his dogs), mom, Rob, Mimi, Mackenzie, Shawn, Deb, Chelsea, Gordon and Cameron 

Gordon must be taking this picture!

  Joel's gram, Brett, Chelsea, Bryan and Ryan!

It's bittersweet looking back at old pictures.  Remembering fun times from days gone by, but then remembering those you have lost along the way.  How the kids have grown and how life has changed along the way.

16 things

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
~ Abraham Lincoln

Happy 16th Birthday Zachary!

And to think it wasn't that many years ago when Abraham Lincoln was his idol!  He even dressed up as him one year for Halloween and our family vacation was to Washington DC because of his fascination with the President! 

1.  In his early teens it was skateboarding

  

2.  He loves his dog

 3.  braces...over a  year now

4.  hanging with friends

 
 5.  there was the paintball phase
6.  and still there's airsoft
7.  X-box still a favorite
8.  Iron Maiden fan
9. Working out at Milts

 

 10.  hanging out with dad
11.  Learning to drive

 12.  camping
13.  bacon and comedians that talk about bacon
14.  hanging with your sister

15.  family time
16.  Emily 

Team up Thursday

Team Up Thursday with Jill  

This week our theme was down low... I kept trying to figure out how I wanted to shoot this photo. Whether I was going to be down low or what I was shooting would be down low???  While working on the graduation caps for Shawn's party I decided this was where I would take my shot.  I love how Jill captured her daughter reading... wish I would have gotten those shots years ago with my kids!

 

 

Three hundred-eighty miles!

• From Medina to Chicago is 305 miles
• From Medina to Winston-Salem NC is 360 miles

I found this out at Google maps distance calculator.  And why you may ask am I measuring the distance to places around the US?

Because I set a goal this year to run 500 miles.  When I set the goal I thought it was a reasonable goal to attain, and yet here I am almost half-way through 2010 and I have already ran 380 miles, which leaves me 120 miles for the rest of the year!  I'm hoping I can do that before my next half marathon.

And it just goes to show that you never know what you are capable of doing!  Seven years ago I was a heavy smoker, once I quit smoking I did the roller coaster weight gain and loss.  And with all the running I have lost over 15 lbs. and that's only since I began keeping track, because when I first started running it was just to feel better, then I noticed the weight coming off. You know the whole move more, eat less... well actually with running you really aren't eating less because you do have to add more calories to fuel your runs!  But I make better food choices.

   

 February 2010 and May 2010

And all of this from someone who was intimidated by the treadmill, until my daughter convinced me to just walk it for a while.  Now I do interval runs to increase my run speed and hills to build my endurance and of course running farther distances to prepare for another half marathon.

 So why not try something new, you never know what it may lead to!

Finally getting things done

Between the weather and weekend plans we have not gotten to our yard in weeks... until finally today.  We decided rain or not we are getting some weeding and trimming done in the yard.  It started out drizzling, but soon the sun was out and we kept on working!

 

 yes, some of the weeds were that big!

In between the yard work I've been working on projects for Shawn's graduation party

and finally spending some time finishing up my week in the life.  

I swear its taken me 2 months to document one week...  

  
these are just a few of my pages that I've added some of the details to

  
 but once I get it completed, I plan on doing it again!

Narcissistic personality disorder

We all know someone with this disorder.  Sometimes there are those we can learn to avoid, others we are related to and that makes for it to be more difficult.  Luckily for me, the narcissist in my life chose to end our relationship, and while it hurt, it probably was the best thing.  

It wasn't until I described my situation to a friend that she told me to look up narcissist and from that point forward my eyes have been open!  Now I can spot them all over, including those in the spotlight like the husband that killed Lacy Peterson, or Joran Van Der Sloot of today, they have no regard for others feelings, another trait I recognized was its never their fault.  I can look back on my childhood and even early adult years and remember how it was NEVER his fault for anything, and at that time I bought it all....

According to the American Psychological Association, people with narcissistic personality disorder display a chronic and pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. The Greek myth has it that Narcissus died enraptured by the beauty of his own reflection in a pool and feel forever in love with his own reflection. The Narcissist displays an operating style that involves extreme self-involvement, and a grandiose sense of self- importance. They exaggerate their achievements and talents, expecting others to recognize them as superior and often appearing arrogant and extremely self absorbed.

Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or beauty, they require the constant attention and admiration of those around them, although they are very choosy about the people and institutions they will associate closely with. They often admit to being snobs and are actually proud of it. They also believe that their problems are unique and can be appreciated only by other “special” high - status people. Despite their charm, the favorable first impression they make, and their wide circle of notable acquaintances, people with this disorder are rarely able to maintain a stable, long-term relationship. With their boastful and pretentious manner, narcissistic persons are seldom receptive to the feelings of others. They show a general lack of empathy, an inability or unwillingness to recognize and identify with your thoughts and needs. Many are often successful, impressively knowledgeable, and articulate, yet bored and doubt ridden as well.

Conversely, healthy narcissism is essential for emotional well-being. We need narcissism to feel confident in ourselves, and to give adequate consideration to others. NOTE: The healthy narcissist does not focus exclusively on themselves, demanding that the world reflect back their false manufactured sense of self and an image of idealized perfection.

If you encounter this personality type, a grasp of the underlying psychology can help you cope more effectively. Lets explore the genesis of the narcissistic personality. As stated above, people with this personality disorder must constantly seek outside support and approval. If they get that support and approval, they feel complete and powerful.  Without that support and approval, they feel deprived, exposed, vulnerable, angry, and lonely.

KEY: Early childhood conditioning also plays a part. The child’s real or authentic self has generally been ignored, or the child’s self may have been attacked and assaulted while the parents placed demands on the child to be “perfect.” When that occurs, the type of behavior we associate with a narcissistic disorder is overindulged. Fiercely driven to achieve, children never develop the capacity to consider others’ needs.  Enter adulthood, and the same traits naturally carry over.

What To Watch Out For

Most people with this disorder advertise themselves… They seek to be the center of attention. In search of constant approval and praise to reinforce their false grandiose sense of self, they’re “on- stage,” dominating the conversation, often exaggerating their importance.

They lack empathy for others and have an inflated sense of entitlement, requiring others to respond to their demands and grant favors.  They need everything for themselves and are envious of others’ accomplishments and possessions.

Criticism or disapproval takes them back to their difficult childhoods, sending them into a defensive fury, since any flaw or mistake means they’re not perfect. Also, when things go wrong, they cannot acknowledge the imperfections implicit in accepting responsibility.

Appearance matters more than substance. Power, wealth and beauty bolster their fragmented self-image.

They may be extremely driven because the “narcissistic fuel” of outside approval is so essential. Many are workaholics. Warning: this personality disorder may not be immediately obvious. The subtle ones won’t show their true colors until “deprived.” Caution: Others may actually pursue and cater to you, if you have something they want, such as looks, money, or status.

Can you change them? Reality check: No. Even constructive criticism is experienced by them as an affront and is met with anger and a sense of betrayal. Placating only results in more demands, not a return of thoughtfulness and consideration. In fact, if you always excuse or rationalize self-absorption and give in to constant demands, you are actually supporting and reinforcing their narcissistic needs and wants.

Coping Tips

Here are some tips on how to cope with the person in your life who processes the narcissistic style. Sometimes the best way to deal with extreme narcissistic behavior is to end the relationship. But since this solution isn’t always possible, I can only offer you some survival techniques…

It is important to set boundaries. Decide which demands you can meet or how much approval you’re willing to give to this person, and then stick to your decision. Also, terminate a self-centered conversation if you can, or at least set a time limit on how long you’ll listen.

Support yourself. If your resistance to them draws their anger or blame, refuse to be emotionally blackmailed. Remember that your time and feelings are not important in this person’s eyes. This can help remove your guilt.

Use bargaining chips. If you have something they want, such as a special expertise or solutions to problems—share it sparingly to keep their worst behavior under control. Be aware that when you no longer satisfy them, their old ways will resurface.

Avoid anger. Any confrontation should be conducted quietly and with control. But even a tactful approach may be greeted with anger or sometimes-frightening rage. Very likely, you’ll hear that the difficult situation is your problem and there’s something wrong with you. Arguing will only make you feel like you will want to blow your brains out. Be careful not to expect accommodation from the other person, but do give yourself points for standing up for your rights.

Finally, know when to leave. Dealing with this personality disorder can undermine your own sense of self. Ask yourself some questions…Do I continually feel depressed, irritable, devalued and worthless? Does my anger and resentment carry over into other relationships? Have I stopped supporting myself in general, not treating myself well or allowing others to coerce me? Bottom line: If you find yourself answering yes too frequently, you must examine the pay-off or importance of your relationship with this person.  by Thomas J. Schumacher, Psy.D., R-CSW

and why is this coming up again?  It's more of a reminder to myself as I slip back into those thoughts of "maybe things will work out"  The problem for me isn't so much the narcissist himself, but the children and family connected. But I also remember the instant stomach ache when I would look at the caller ID and he would be calling - I knew it was going to be something....