But we want this story to turn towards that happy ending...
We need this story to start having that uphill cadence, the positive momentum that builds up all stories to their proverbial happy ending. Somehow each day seems like another struggle, another day of sameness, as we repeat the same answers to the same questions and go through the same motions trying to find an upswing in Debs progress...
Everyday I wake up early, do some writing, enjoy that morning cup of coffee and go run before I decidedly start my day. On Friday, for some reason I was slow to get moving... maybe it was God keeping me home for a bit longer? The only time in weeks I was still home at this hour and not on my run. While getting ready there was a knock on the door? Odd since I figured anyone coming over had a key?
I opened the door to find Deb standing there, keys in hand and a bit annoyed? Quickly, while confused, I tried to unravel what was taking place? As I invited her in I was searching for who had come with her and that is when I learned she drove herself!
My stomach sank as shock, fear and anxiety instantly flooded my thoughts! How she got here safely with detours near our house, what if I wasn't home? I wanted to cry and just kept fighting back the tears. I just want her to get better, I want my sister back...
She was irritated and sad and felt abandoned, not realizing she crossed paths with someone coming to accompany her. With no short term memory she disregarded that she cannot drive. Her petulance relates to her belief that her things are being taken. Many times she doesn't even recognize her own purse, phone or even home and relates back to our childhood and where our parents are. I remind her our father has been gone for almost 17 years to only be asked again in a short while.
During our idle chatter, I texted my husband to call Gordon and explain what was going on, but even his shock required a phone call to clearly understand my text. After talking to Gordon and making arrangements to get Deb and the car safely back, I began getting ready while Deb and I still babbled from seperate rooms. Suddenly she was sobbing, I ran out and I wrapped my arms around her and began crying too. "Will I spend the rest of my life not remembering, she cried?" There was no answer... and it still makes me cry.
Small pieces of her memory come in and confuse her more. Never remembering where the boys are and always anxious to get home if away and get away if home. Its heart breaking... Constantly I tell her the boys are fine and she needs to concentrate on herself, but soon she segways right back to the boys and the storyline continues.
Distracted, I hadn't noticed our cat, Abu jump on the counter and stop and stare at us, Deb looked up and couldn't stop laughing at the cats expression and it broke the mood and we went back to talking.
When I got her back home she was exhausted, and frankly, so was I.
While I know many people care about Debbie and her recovery and we still have consistent friends who step up to help, I don't think people realize what a struggle this is every day, especially for Gordon and those boys.
We all want those stories that wrap up quickly with the happy ending catching us by surprise. But this story seems to be a bigger chapter of our lives, of Debs life. This story is hard and heartbreaking and thankless and it goes on everyday in our lives. And no matter how hard it is for us I still cannot imagine what it is like for Deb!
Please continue with prayers for Debbie and the family...
Peace and Progress,