Just a minute of my time...

The Journey

In the recent years after my return to school, a favorite part of English class was poetry...

 

I decided to go back and look at some of my favorite poets, including some recommended by others. The timing on finding  this gem a second time was priceless. Listed as one of the best in poetry, I love the stories that unfold with her words in verse. Born in Maple Heights Ohio, her poetry can be both uplifting and imaginative, imploring you to travel with her.

 

The Journey by Mary Oliver

 

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

 

Making a plan

I mostly run for fun... I really do, I enjoy running, I enjoy the therapy while I am running, and I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when done. 

Last Saturday I ran the PAWS FOR THE CAUSE 5k. The night before I told my husband no wine for me, I plan to run as hard as I can tomorrow with no regrets. Many times when running a race I don't push myself and then regret wondering if I could have done better. Joel dropped me off early, giving me plenty of time to get registered, hydrate, and warm up before the start.

Excited to run and establishing a vision...

Before I began running I closed my eyes and imagined my goal, the thought to cross in 27 minutes came to mind, even though I have never finished a 5k in 27 minutes? So when I crossed and the clock said 27:04 I was shocked, surprised, pleased and oh so proud!

During the race I ran hard, listening to the timers shouting out pace times as I passed, mile one 8:13, thrilled I kept pushing on. Although the final hill induced panic when I felt like I was going to have an asthma attack, slowing my pace though still not ready to give up.

I finished the race and left for breakfast with my family. Although I felt good about my time, it never crossed my mind that I might have placed.

What an awesome surprise to confirm my time and discover my winning 2nd place for my age group out of 58 women!

You are never to old to push yourself harder, reach for something you never dreamed of. While this was only a 5k, its power was tremendous!

Should I stay or should I go now...

Our tour begins through the entrance of the back sliding door, a peculiar farm house with several extensions, leaving a small path to approach the door. A combination of last nights dinner and unknown substances invade your senses as you walk through the door. Even the dahlias, which seem to be on every flat surface,  do not influence the awkward scent.

The sojourn begins as we walk through the common areas, though dimly lit the cumbersome space seems cramped with furniture, a television, trinkets, and even more Dahlias. Although in here even the dahlias look melancholy. Continuing on we step around a wooden spiral staircase that leads to the upstairs living space, and then finally to our room. A modest size bedroom with our own bathroom and a lock on the door. 

My first thought in the fight or flight response was RUN, and if this is beyond my comfort zone, I cannot imagine what my spouse is thinking. We make our way back to the kitchen, my drifting thoughts are interrupted with "you can settle up now if you want," which only accelerated the approaching panic attack. I mumbled that my checkbook was in the car, advancing towards our getaway...

While walking to the car, my mind whirling with pictures of us peeling out of the drive like the roadrunner deserts bugs bunny, a dawning appears on my husbands face as he realizes I had thoughts of fleeing. "You were ready to bolt, weren't you?" he laughs. "Well, weren't you," I reply?

A small discussion takes place on the side of our vehicle as we consider the pros and cons of this adventure and I realize that if he is comfortable, then so am I. We make our way back up to the unlocked door hauling our luggage and the payment, reasoning that its just for one night.

It turned out to be another great adventure to add to our trip, one I am glad we chose to follow through with. After dinner and a night out we returned to the B & B and were invited to join them in a game of  cards, although we declined, we did feel a bit more comfortable in our surroundings. Later, opening a bottle of wine to toast our adventures together, we retired for the evening

In the morning we were greeted with apple fritters, fruit and coffee for breakfast, a welcome delight, and although I'm glad we tasted, we could have done without the "scrapple", A New England treat, we were told. Small talk continued through breakfast and we learned little details about the New England States, which we both found quite interesting.

Despite an awkward start, our experience ended with a pleasant finish. During breakfast we spent time getting to know the owners of this B & B, although once our travels continued, we both felt a sigh of relief that the remainder of our lodging would be at hotels and not vineyards.

And the adventure continues...

Have you heard it?

that voice in your head telling you that you can or cannot do something?

I have heard it many times amid running, it is a battle of determination. When I am struggling I must remind myself "I can do this"  it is amazing how my legs focus as I advance up a hill or finish that last mile. You can make a difference in your own thoughts, in your own life!

This weekend when running the Akron half marathon I needed that reminder quite often. Those hills were killer! Trouble loomed since I felt defeated by mile three and had ten more hilly miles ahead. Knowing  an attitude adjustment was essential, I contemplated my options. The image of walking posed as a choice, but was quickly dismissed.

 

Demanding more of myself running, not finishing strong would linger longer than the pain.  After a few stops with powerade and a Vanilla GU, although my muscles still ached, my strength returned and my attitude adjusted.

Disappointment returned, thinking I had five more miles to go and my goal now out of reach, until I passed the 9th mile and realized only four miles kept me from my goal. Pushing harder, maintaining a 10 min mile, to reach my goal of 2:15. 

While I missed my goal by a mere 1:41, I am thrilled with my finishing time for one of the toughest half marathons I finished in a long time! (75th of 176 in age group) Running is a battle within you, never about beating someone else. I feel strong knowing I gave it my all!

 

14 races in 2014 update

1. Medina lightning bug 5k - May 10th (9:20pm) - yes ran and loved
2. Medina half marathon  - May 31, 2014 -(didn't realize how many hills Medina has)
3. Warrior dash 5k with obstacles - August 9th
4. Akron half marathon  - 2:16:43
5. Cleveland half marathon - May 18, 2014 - yes ran and loved
6. Medina twin sizzler 10k - July 4th
7. Race for grace 8th place out of 28 in my age group
8. take back the run September 19  awesome experience
9. Paws for pets  October 25   won 2nd place for my age group out of 58!
10. Turkey trot won 5th place for age group
11. reindeer run - 9th place of 40 in my age group
12. Santa shuffle
13. race
14. race

Take back the run

As a runner this was such a powerful message...

As a woman who loves running, it was a chilling reminder to be aware of my surroundings as I head out to find my happy pace!

 

We interpret actions of others based on our own experiences, which is how we predict what will happen around us. When your mind neglects to think like others, you expose yourself to hidden dangers.

Not all of my runs are alone, but when they are, I need to be observant and prepared.  There are distracted drivers, cross walks without adequate crossing time, and knowing you need to protect yourself. Being immersed in my surroundings has been a huge part of my running enjoyment. No longer lost with headphones exploding to the beat,  I view the world that surrounds me. With my mind clear it is like a reboot to cleanse my soul and start the day fresh.

This race was a powerful message for women, for runners and for me. I am thankful I was able to attend and my husband was able to support me in this run!

 

 

Oh Joe

He was always so tough on himself, expected so much from himself and I wonder if he ever realized what a truly great person he was?

My brother Joe and I mellowed into the reserved middle siblings, he, the stubborn blonde tow head and I his blonde older sister, were encompassed by two outgoing siblings, Deb, the oldest and Rob, the baby.  

Joe and I were cohorts foremost, with the Fisher-Price towns our greatest entertainer, we created our fictional communities and then eased into our friendship as adults. There was an undeniable serenity to our relationship, one of the many things to love about Joe.

He loved his music and playing the guitar was his passion. Bashfully he strummed a few jingles on the stairway at our parents house during their 25th anniversary celebration. I was in awe of his performance.  So enthralled with music he banked his funds until reaching half the tuition cost for  guitar school in Los Angeles California, a deal my parents had offered him and once he reached half my parents put in the other portion.

1983

Needing a car to live in California they decided it best for Joe to drive there. At the time I was newly married but able to get the time off work, and so it was decided that I would drive with him, visit with family and fly back.

One treasured story from our voyage to California happened after a lengthy day of driving, at last reaching a hotel for the night. Not wishing to haul all our luggage up the stairway he suggested that I stay at the top and he would thrust it up toward me. However, each time he would throw I would collapse with a burst of laughter and not catch the suitcase. Begging me to be serious, he would try again, so I was ready and serious, only to collapse again when he threw a second and third time. Exhausted, he then carried the suitcases up the stairs. At the time he didn't find it as humorous as I had... yet still today it makes me laugh...

2003

Approximately a month was spent at Metro hospital after the discovery of Joes second aneurysm. Every day it was our job to show up, pray and wait for updates. Celebrating his accomplishments along the way as they brought him out of the medically induced coma, eyes blinking, squeezing our hands and so many other small acts gave us hope.

September 16th, Deb and I leave the surgical waiting room together, heading out to grab coffee for what was supposed to be a long wait. Finally, the day was here, things would start improving for Joe, they can do the surgery, his second brain surgery ten years later.

With coffee in hand Deb and I  heard our mother crying from the hall and the fear collapsed in the pit of my stomach as we entered the room. They say your life can change in an instant and abruptly we learned the devistating news. The surgeon miscalculated and his costly error took Joes life.

Time was slowly moving as we tried to comprehend what had happened, Rob beat the elevator doors as we awaited its arrival, the things we needed to happen fast were now stagnant, but the knowledge we had received  streamed quickly through our minds as we tried to sort out how this surgery had gone so wrong?

It was the next day we said good-bye to Joe, September 17, 2003, and our lives have never been the same...

The first half

Wow, wasn't expecting to fair so well! Chelsea and I ran our first half marathon and since  not running over 7 miles this year, I was expecting more difficulty!

It seems with all that has been going on in our lives, training was not fitting into either of our schedules, and try as we would, it would be a dreadmill run because of the horrible weather, or nothing, because the time didn't allow... 

The night before the race we started working on a plan as to how we were going to complete this run, throwing out options and ideas until we were satisfied with the plan. We decided we would run/walk the race. Running 5 minutes and walking one.

As we revive ourselves in the morning, tho barely awake, we eat our bagels and peanut butter or (peach butter) a story for another day... get ready for the race with all our gear,  and get out the door to the start before 6:30am to find our corral.

There is always an excitement in the air right before a race, the loud music and people everywhere in the city make you feel a part of something big, and it is big, 20,000 people running! The weather is perfect, in fact I didn't plan well and before the race even begins I lose an extra layer.  

Once we started, I felt good but knew I had to keep my breathing under control. Luckily I recently got another inhaler to help. While watching the clock I noticed we had already ran 5 minutes and asked Chelsea if she was ready to stop and walk. She said lets keep going until 3 miles... we got to 3 miles and I asked if she was ready to walk, she said lets keep running until we get tired....

While we walked at water stops to get our drink, we never walked any other time during the entire 13.1 miles! And that felt awesome!!!

You should always have a backup plan, it doesn't mean you have to follow it, just knowing there are options if things are not working always helps. Luckily we didn't need to use our back up plan...

We finished in under 2:30 and I'm proud of that and the fact that we ran the whole thing together!  

Have another half coming up Saturday... here we go again!

 

 

14 Races for 2014

I'm beginning to gather my wish list of races and sign up for those that I know sell out quickly...

 As well as wish list races that we are still trying to plan

1. Medina lightning bug 5k - May 10th (9:20pm) - yes ran and loved
2. Medina half marathon  - May 31, 2014 (7am) - (didn't realize how many hills Medina has)
3. Warrior dash 5k with obstacles - August 9th (2:30pm)
4. Akron half marathon  - September 27, 2014
5. Cleveland half marathon - May 18, 2014 - yes ran and loved
6. not yet known
7. not yet known
8. not yet known
9. not yet known
10. not yet known
11. not yet known
12. not yet known    
13. not yet known
14. not yet known